FOUR HOURS!

Yes, that is the time it took for me to get home from work on Friday night. I am thinking someone needs to set mother nature straight because this whole snow for spring is really getting old.

We finally left work at 2:00pm and they weren't even plowing the roads yet. So we got to mom and dad's driveway, say oh about 4:30pm. So 2.5 hours to travel, what 45 miles? Sweet. Mom says she will walk up the driveway in the two feet of snow, but being the wonderful daughter I am I decided that would really suck. I slammed the gas and was *THISCLOSE* to making it up the hill. But alas, I got stuck. We dug with the ice scraper and I pushed the car out. Too bad we didn't go STRAIGHT back down our original tracks, so we got stuck again and had to wait it out until Friedrich came with the plow truck.

Finally got mom up to the house and headed home to find 3 feet of snow piled up at the end of the driveway from the plowtruck. I backed into the neighbors driveway across from ours and gave 'er the beans. Too bad I almost got sucked into the ditch on the side of the driveway. So I walked up to the house and got the shovel. Got out from that mess only to get sucked towards the house and had to stop or take out our bedroom wall. Dug myself out again. FINALLY got into the garage. (90% of this was all done in 4" heels. Now THAT is talent.)

I got bundled up to go and snowblow the driveway. First the darn thing wouldn't start, so I figured I would shovel for a bit then come back and try again. I got it running only to find out that the snow was far to deep and heavy for the snowblower to even work! AGH!!!

I ended up shoveling from the corner of the house to the road and gave up before my arm fell off. I was eating dinner (since it was now about 8:00) and I hear a four wheeler. It's ADAM! I have never been so glad to see him in my life!

Of course in my appreciation, I promptly went inside and baked him some carrot cake. I have also decided that I will not be shoveling any more until next winter. I absolutely refuse. Poor Sadie can't even go outside to go potty because all the snow is over her head!

So here is your reminder Mother Nature. It is SPRING! Please adjust your temperatures accordingly.

Forget Girl Scout Cookies!

I have found my new crack. First it was Oreos, then I moved on to Girl Scout cookies and even THOSE have been surpassed by these little pieces of heaven...



Thank you Nabisco, for making it that much harder for me to watch my figure. Well, I am watching my figure, expand. I was trying to explain to Warren last night that I found a new love and he scoffed at me! Apparently, I have known how awesome these round cookies filled with sunshine really are,I had just forgotten.

So as I was perusing the photos of 'Nilla Wafers, I found this. And now I must have it. They should so make Nilla Wafer cereal. I would have to invest in much larger britches if they did. But could you imagine?



Of course, we ran out last night (mostly because, well, I ate them all) so maybe I should pick some up today. Does it count if I eat them while THINKING about exercising? Or would eating while walking be better?

A bad day may call for a fruity drink in a big glass, but a REALLY bad day? That requires a chocolate snack pack eaten with a 'Nilla Wafer...

Dreary nasty day.

It is all sorts of foggy, rainy and cold outside. This sort of weather usually reminds me of the movie The Secret Garden. I always wanted to live in that movie. A big house to explore, a mystery to solve and a kickin garden to play in and make beautiful again. But alas, I have none of these nor do I live in England. Instead I have a very tired body, a long drive home, and a to-do list longer than Santa's naughty list.

Basically, I am a giant bummer today. Debbie Downer's got nothin on me. I need sunshine. I need warm weather. But most of all, I need to go home to more than just two whiney dogs, but this is where that wonderful phrase of "Spit in one hand and wish in the other see which one fills first" comes in handy.

Stupid brain...

So last night I had a freakish dream. I was driving my new 2 door white sports car through a forest trying to get somewhere. Apparently 90mph is not that fast is sports cars since I saw my spedometer and thought, I could so go faster. After all I was trying to track down someone's possum. Right. Well, I am driving along and all of a sudden I swerve to miss... a freaking jaguar. Not the car, the animal. So as I am swerving I note that the grass is wet with dew and obviously this is going to make me spin out of control. Then I note that my seatbelt is not on. Knowing that I will be thrown out of the vehicle and die if I don't have it on, I reach to click my belt. But of course you can't do that in "real time" and everything becomes slow motion. I have to pull really hard to get my seatbelt on and just as I click it I see the front end of my car barely miss a tree as I spin out of control. I shut my eyes waiting for impact just listening to my breathing. Breahting and a heartbeat. All dramatic like. Then black.


I open my eyes and there is an EMT over me, poking me in the eye. I know what is going on, but I can't speak. When she pokes me I flinch and they rejoice that I am still alive. I also have a 12-lead hooked up already. I am all hot and sweaty, obviously because I crashed in the jungle and it is hot and humid, which would explain the jaguar. I look out my driver door and there is another one of my EMTs. She is putting a tourniquet on my left arm and tells me I have an open fracture. I can talk at this point, but I don't know what changed that made me able to talk. Then I asked her if it was radial or ulnar. She didn't answer just looked at my like I was a ghost.

Then I woke up. Sweating like a fat kid in dodgeball with my left arm wrapped under my body and so numb I couldn't feel it.

Still, can you explain the jaguar? Really?

Another piece of evidence that I am whacked in the head.

I HATE DST.

There are not enough vile words in my vocabulary to describe how much I hate having my schedule switched up by an hour. Either way it screws with me.

There is not enough coffee or Xanax in the world to make me a decent person today.

The weird things that make me smile.

I love paying the bills. I know that sentence alone is enough to consider your friendship with me, but I do. You would think chocolate or vacations or proving I'm right would be on the top of the list (they are all VERY close!) but I just absolutely love paying bills. If you slap a budget in front of me, I am in heaven! You would think I would go into accounting or something, but eh. That isn't fun when you HAVE to do it.

I am such a ginormous nerd, I have a 5 page spreadsheet with our finances in them. I could show you our checkbook from two years ago. I know, I know... what a loser, right? But when you pay your bills you get to forget about paying them for another month AND you get to see how much LESS principle you have - it gives me a giddy feeling. (I exclude paying a mortgage from this entire feel good post. That is just depressing since only like $0.03 goes to our principle every month.)

The other kind of bills I don't like paying are the ones that you didn't know about and didn't know to plan for. Just BAM! There it is in your mailbox, staring back at you with it ominous return label. You kind of just grab the very corner of it with your fingernails and toss it on the table to sit for a while, pretending the whole time it isn't there. I hate those kind. They make me cranky.

But otherwise, since today is pay day, I am in a generally good mood. Especially since that stupid boat should be paid off shortly. Paying off a loan, now that gives me a real high.

You are a toilet, not a sprinkler!

I hate, no scratch that, loathe automatically flushing toilets. They either flush prematurely or never flush at all. Nastiness either way. I know it prevents you from touching that yucky handle, but seriously, you are going to go and wash your hands anyway. I would rather get germies on my hands that I can easily wash with soap and water, then have nasty toilet water sprinkle on my hiney. Don't get me started on squatters.

See Stacy's blog for a humerous clip about squatting, AKA hovering. (I would give you a link, but apparently I am too dumb to do that. Some day I may learn.)

Another thing. WASH YOUR HANDS! I don't care what business you had to tend to in the stall. If you come out and do not wash your hands (and no, rinsing them for 3 seconds under running water does NOT constitute as washing), I have every right to label you as dirty. Seriously, that is just nasty. Makes me gag every time I think about touching a surface in this building. Thank goodness for Clorox wipes.

Also, I think I am on my way to getting a cold. Good thing I have Zicam to shove up my nose in an attempt to thwart the cold that is going around. Kind of hard to do when I am surrounded by harbor seals here at work. COVER YOUR MOUTHS PEOPLE!

Then kindly wash your hands.

Thanks Jeana

Some random thoughts I have today...

1. I am still giggling and gagging from last night. "For the love of god... stop compressions!" Thanks to Erica, I can never again eat tomato soup.

2. I am not hungry and yet the bag of cheetos in my drawer are yelling at me to eat them.

3. I need to go to the gym tonight before the meeting. I need to blow of some steam in an effort not to go nutso while listening to all the drama.

4. I have too many blogs.

5. I love mashed potatoes. But only real ones.

Shut Yer Mouth!

So I had to go and open my big fat mouth Saturday night. You know, the dreaded "it's been slow" conversation. Yeah, 4 calls yesterday. FOUR! And one that involved copious amounts of vomit. It isn't every day that you get to hear someone yelling "For the love of god" in the back of the ambulance. I was feeling pretty good about my mad IV skillz when I sank an 18g without blinking. Yeah, took me back down to Earth when I couldn't get a 22g in to save my life. So today I am tired, sore and cranky. I need more sleep.

After work I am going straight to Wally World to purchase a new roll of duct tape. Maybe that will keep my mouth shut.